Considering
Mar. 22nd, 2024 06:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sgatazmyI’m really annoyed at how my words get cut off in my Stop Talking! podfic. I was using noise gate on garage band then and didnt realize how bad it was until I tried listening to it in the car. Since this fic means so much to me and I can’t seem to stop going back to it, I want to
go back and record it with audacity and noise reduction. It feels overwhelming to rerecord though. My lemons fic needs similar revision.
What is it about Stop Talking! that I keep going back to it over and over? I honestly feel that it’s the best piece of writing I have ever done and a lot of that was due to my awesome betas. I also feel like it encompasses everything I ever wanted to say about Rodney and how he could not be okay after so much death and strife. I never thought I would write a “suicidal Rodney” fic but I did and I love it and I treasure it like a precious lovey. Is that weird?
Music for Rodney was posted as its own story as a gift for WonkyElk, but in my mind it’s actually a sequel to Stop Talking! I think I want to write more in this universe, focused on the healing now that Rodney decided to get help and admit his struggles.
Anyway, I’m so glad to be back to writing and so excited for stories I’m really proud of even months after writing.
Details: Stop Talking! is a sga fic where Rodney is forced to share his darkest thoughts and accept help. It includes Rodney/John/Jennifer.
I’m especially proud of this beginning (no pairing in this excerpt)
Rodney didn’t mean to activate the device. Nor did he mean to keep visiting night after night, sharing his thoughts with an Ancient hologram who looked just like Atlantis’ dead counselor. There was no way Rodney would see the new guy because he wasn’t Heightmeyer and he didn’t get Rodney. So a hologram made a perfect psychologist, even if it was just a projection from a device that never should have been activated in the first place.
Of course he probably should have mentioned the device to someone. He deliberately chose not to understand it — in itself a major red flag — as though afraid he’d discover it was dangerous and about to devour him, or blow up, or god knows what else. Uncatalogued and unstudied devices were about the most dangerous things Pegasus could send their way, and he didn’t hesitate to send back to Earth anyone who refused to properly handle Ancient tech. So why was he breaking the rules?
Rodney did know better, really he did, but Not-Heightmeyer was familiar, and he felt so much better each time he left. It probably affected his brain chemicals which should have worried him even more and sent him running for medical care. Somehow it didn’t.
This was fine for a while, weeks with no problems, and Rodney was actually feeling better now. He could sleep through the night, sometimes without any nightmares about all the people he might have inadvertently killed on another day in Pegasus, or any of the other entirely questionable things he’d done in his tenure on Atlantis. It was fine, fine, fine, until, of course, it wasn’t fine.
go back and record it with audacity and noise reduction. It feels overwhelming to rerecord though. My lemons fic needs similar revision.
What is it about Stop Talking! that I keep going back to it over and over? I honestly feel that it’s the best piece of writing I have ever done and a lot of that was due to my awesome betas. I also feel like it encompasses everything I ever wanted to say about Rodney and how he could not be okay after so much death and strife. I never thought I would write a “suicidal Rodney” fic but I did and I love it and I treasure it like a precious lovey. Is that weird?
Music for Rodney was posted as its own story as a gift for WonkyElk, but in my mind it’s actually a sequel to Stop Talking! I think I want to write more in this universe, focused on the healing now that Rodney decided to get help and admit his struggles.
Anyway, I’m so glad to be back to writing and so excited for stories I’m really proud of even months after writing.
Details: Stop Talking! is a sga fic where Rodney is forced to share his darkest thoughts and accept help. It includes Rodney/John/Jennifer.
I’m especially proud of this beginning (no pairing in this excerpt)
Rodney didn’t mean to activate the device. Nor did he mean to keep visiting night after night, sharing his thoughts with an Ancient hologram who looked just like Atlantis’ dead counselor. There was no way Rodney would see the new guy because he wasn’t Heightmeyer and he didn’t get Rodney. So a hologram made a perfect psychologist, even if it was just a projection from a device that never should have been activated in the first place.
Of course he probably should have mentioned the device to someone. He deliberately chose not to understand it — in itself a major red flag — as though afraid he’d discover it was dangerous and about to devour him, or blow up, or god knows what else. Uncatalogued and unstudied devices were about the most dangerous things Pegasus could send their way, and he didn’t hesitate to send back to Earth anyone who refused to properly handle Ancient tech. So why was he breaking the rules?
Rodney did know better, really he did, but Not-Heightmeyer was familiar, and he felt so much better each time he left. It probably affected his brain chemicals which should have worried him even more and sent him running for medical care. Somehow it didn’t.
This was fine for a while, weeks with no problems, and Rodney was actually feeling better now. He could sleep through the night, sometimes without any nightmares about all the people he might have inadvertently killed on another day in Pegasus, or any of the other entirely questionable things he’d done in his tenure on Atlantis. It was fine, fine, fine, until, of course, it wasn’t fine.
